Don’t we wish that people would treat us the way we treat them? Or do we treat them so poorly we wish we could be more like someone else? Last week, I talked about having mastered the art of saying ‘no’. ‘No’, sometimes, is necessary when I am asked to volunteer for ‘x, y, or z’ activity or to donate money to the 10,000 charities that call during the holiday seasons.

I feel guilty every time I tell someone I can’t ‘do’ whatever it is they’ve asked from me. My husband thinks I’m nutty. He thinks I shouldn’t feel guilty. But then I come back to the fact that I want people to want to help me, so shouldn’t I always be willing to help them?

From Wikipedia:

The Golden Rule is arguably the most essential basis for the modern concept of human rights, in which each individual has a right to just treatment, and a reciprocal responsibility to ensure justice for others.^[4]

It’s just not always possible to be the one who gives, gives, gives. I try though. I mean I was a photography for NILMDTS for almost 3 years and photographed (for free) over 100 families. (Don’t go to that link unless you have a hankie). But now that I have a full-time job where my time is ‘owned’ by someone else form 8am – 5pm, it’s very, very hard for me to say ‘yes’. So I had to say goodbye.

You see, I feel guilty when I can’t do something that someone else needs me to do for them and I have to say ‘no’.

I believe in the idea of karma.

From Wikipedia:

Karma (Sanskrit: कर्म IPA: [ˈkərmə] ( listen);^[1] Pali: kamma) in Indian religions is the concept of “action” or “deed”, understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect (i.e., the cycle calledsaṃsāra) originating in ancient India and treated in Hindu, Jain, Buddhist and Sikh philosophies.^[2]

I believe that what we do has an impact on what other people will do for us.

For a couple years, I participated as a contributor and moderator at Scribophile — a fantastic writing site. I’ve had to step away from there a little, except from a core group of folks, because I no longer have the time to give to the people on it. The time they deserve, I should say.  I just don’t. Yes, those are the same people who’ve helped me get where I am, but I gave, gave, gave and now, I can’t. That happens.

But I did give and I never asked for anything back. I wasn’t there to get. I was there to give.

Now I give in another way. I use my blog to promote other authors. I review friend’s manuscripts (friends, folks, not random strangers). I try very hard not to bombard people with ‘buy my book’ messages.

I share to share. If people read my blog, great. If they don’t, okay, too.

As my life transitions from one moment to the next, my goal is to follow the golden rule with respect to my fellow authors, photographers and clients (readers and photography as well as those I work with in my real job). It’s not a religious thing, it’s a way of life.

I will help where I can and try very hard never to ask of someone something I wouldn’t be willing to do for them.

Feels good to end a week on that note. Doesn’t it?

This may not be the way to get me millions or fans or be ruthless in business. But that’s not me. I’m here to serve … I just have to find the right ways to do that.

How about you? How much to you give before you get or are you seeing people asking too much of everyone else before they give?

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