Do you ‘do unto others as they would do unto you’? #TiWiWF
Don’t we wish that people would treat us the way we treat them? Or do we treat them so poorly we wish we could be more like someone else? Last week, I talked about having mastered the art of saying ‘no’. ‘No’, sometimes, is necessary when I am asked to volunteer for ‘x, y, or z’ activity or to donate money to the 10,000 charities that call during the holiday seasons.

Yin Yang Sky Earth - Illustration by DonkeyHotey
From Wikipedia:
The Golden Rule is arguably the most essential basis for the modern concept of human rights, in which each individual has a right to just treatment, and a reciprocal responsibility to ensure justice for others.[4]
It’s just not always possible to be the one who gives, gives, gives. I try though. I mean I was a photography for NILMDTS for almost 3 years and photographed (for free) over 100 families. (Don’t go to that link unless you have a hankie). But now that I have a full-time job where my time is ‘owned’ by someone else form 8am – 5pm, it’s very, very hard for me to say ‘yes’. So I had to say goodbye.
You see, I feel guilty when I can’t do something that someone else needs me to do for them and I have to say ‘no’.
I believe in the idea of karma.
From Wikipedia:
Karma (Sanskrit: कर्म IPA: [ˈkərmə] (
listen);[1] Pali: kamma) in Indian religions is the concept of “action” or “deed”, understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect (i.e., the cycle calledsaṃsāra) originating in ancient India and treated in Hindu, Jain, Buddhist and Sikh philosophies.[2]
I believe that what we do has an impact on what other people will do for us.
For a couple years, I participated as a contributor and moderator at Scribophile — a fantastic writing site. I’ve had to step away from there a little, except from a core group of folks, because I no longer have the time to give to the people on it. The time they deserve, I should say. I just don’t. Yes, those are the same people who’ve helped me get where I am, but I gave, gave, gave and now, I can’t. That happens.
But I did give and I never asked for anything back. I wasn’t there to get. I was there to give.
Now I give in another way. I use my blog to promote other authors. I review friend’s manuscripts (friends, folks, not random strangers). I try very hard not to bombard people with ‘buy my book’ messages.
I share to share. If people read my blog, great. If they don’t, okay, too.
As my life transitions from one moment to the next, my goal is to follow the golden rule with respect to my fellow authors, photographers and clients (readers and photography as well as those I work with in my real job). It’s not a religious thing, it’s a way of life.
I will help where I can and try very hard never to ask of someone something I wouldn’t be willing to do for them.
Feels good to end a week on that note. Doesn’t it?
This may not be the way to get me millions or fans or be ruthless in business. But that’s not me. I’m here to serve … I just have to find the right ways to do that.
How about you? How much to you give before you get or are you seeing people asking too much of everyone else before they give?
Good post and certain worth thinking about. I’m on Scribophile, too, (as you know) and I was on there for months before I found someone who gave to me without expecting in return and without waiting to see what I could do for them first. Prior to this certain member, I had critiqued entire novels (FULL-LENGTH novels) for other members (at their request), who then either only crit one or two of my pieces in return or (even worse) never crit a thing of mine. To be honest, at the time it didn’t bother me because I (like you) do not give to receive but when their requests became demands to the point of selfishness, I had to step back and reassess if these people were worthy of my time (time, I’ll add, which had become more valuable as my writing progressed). Then I stumbled across more awesome members who were willing to return every crit I gave and I’d finally found balance. But then the time arrived (due to signing a contract and marketing and writing to order) where I didn’t have the time to devote to critiquing people’s work (I’m extremely thorough–so I’ve been told–and used to spend at least a couple hours on every crit) and so I ceased to post more of my own work–which I guess I falls under your category of ‘I don’t ask for what I’m not willing to give’.
Is it creepy how parellel our minds seem to be *cue Twilight Zone music* …..
We’re on the same wavelength about 99% of the time. It’s always creepy. 😉
I totally hear you.
It’s part of being a good friend or family member. Most people realize when you have to step back. Actually I would wager that the majority of people understand. Why, then do we allow one lone voice to lay a huge burden of guilt on our shoulders?
Take your time Aimee and don’t feel guilty. There is balance to everything.
Thanks, Dale! 🙂