This is not a post about shoes, per se. This is a post about the littering of shoes … all over my house.

We have ‘a mat’. All shoes downstairs are supposed to be on ‘the mat’. This is a little like Sheldon Cooper’s seat on the couch. Shoes go on THE MAT.

However, one of my children, who shall remain nameless *cough*Emily*cough* likes to randomly drop her shoes wherever she’s been.

I mean wherever.

Anywhere.

Hallway.

Bathroom.

Bedroom.

Hallway.

Did I say Hallway?

It’s an obsession with this kid. She absolutely, positively, cannot get her shoes on THE MAT the first, second, third or fourth try!

I find them everywhere.

Flip flops.

Sneakers.

Sandals.

Socks.

Oh, yeah, the socks. If there are shoes that require socks, the socks are often (but not always) WITH the shoes.

Then again, the socks are often left in a random location by themselves, too.

Like, in the kitchen.

By the sink.

By the stove.

On the stairs.

Everywhere.

Everywhere.

Everywhere.

Everywhere!

And so I believe it’s time to pay the piper—I mean, Mom. It’s time for my kids to learn that shoe littering, which they already know really littering is illegal, is now a crime!

There will be no more shoes left in the middle of walkways.

There will be no more shoes left in the middle of the halls.

There will be no more shoes left for me to trip over in the middle of the night.

Oh who am I kidding?

But you know what?

If those shoes start to magically disappear, I’ll betcha they’ll come asking and maybe then I can convince them to stop.

Yeah.

Right.

And pigs can fly.