What would it take for you to renew your wedding vows? #TiWiWf

On April 23, 2012 by Aimee

Are the words “I love you”, hard to say? Do they get weird and awkward 15, 18 or 20 years after they were first said? I have to admit I don’t say the words to my husband often. No, I don’t.

Some of you will probably cringe at that.

Others will probably go … I don’t either.

It doesn’t mean the sentiment isn’t true. Does it? I mean, I only said my vows once, do I need to repeat them over and over to make them still relevant?

I DO love my husband. But I don’t need to say those three words to make how I feel real. I show it through laughter, time together, intimacy, shared activities, support … among a huge variety of other activities.

Just like my vows. I don’t repeat them, but I honor, respect, cherish, plan to do so ’til death-do-us-part, etc. I just don’t say them out loud.

Often.

As a matter of fact … a LONG time ago, I almost thought the use of “I love you” became overused. Like we said it too often and it no longer had that ‘punch’.

Now, though, when one or the other of us does say those three words, they make my heart swell. My face gets all hot and I actually get all smiley and nervous-like. Those words mean one or the other of us had a ‘moment’ where the memory of why we fell in love in the first place really hit us. Or, at least, that’s why ‘I love you’ is said by me.

What about those vows?

I remember, almost-24-years-ago, that I was super excited about saying those words. About sharing in that sentiment. About telling my soon-to-be-husband that I meant every word. I’ve often wanted to renew our vows, but as my husband says … “Why? I still mean them. Why do they need to be said?”

That’s a great question. He’s right. I’m just one of those that likes things like this.

Hope Community Church

Hope Community Church

Well … here’s where the fun starts. At church this weekend, our pastor continued his ‘Modern Family’ series. This weekend was all about the demise of marriage—that 50% end in divorce, that so many divorce after 25 years together, that we are so focused on our kids that we forget to be a couple. So when the kids are gone … what do they have? Those were just three little pieces of the larger whole. You can click the link above to listen to the series if you want.

My husband and I have been together for 24 years this August (18 married). Personally, I have to say I can’t wait until my kids are grown. I love my kids, don’t get me wrong, but I enjoy their independence. Why beyond the obvious of no diapers and less cost? In the last 2 years, hubby and I have had even more time … together. In fact, on Friday night, we had our date night which included one errand and one great dinner.

You see … I LOVE spending time with my husband. He’s my best friend. My everything. And now that our kids are happy staying together every once in a while, we’ve started to enjoy our time together. I look forward to years 25-50 with him because we can be ‘us’ again. More mature. Still friends. Still with plenty of problems, but that’s par for the course.

So this weekend fit right in with our awesome evening out because at the end of the presentation, our pastor gave all married couples a chance to renew their vows!

Yup!

And we did!

We got to kiss, too. :)

Standing with our 14 year old son as our ‘witness’, we faced each other, held hands and repeated words we’ve only said one other time … August 13, 1994. He first. Me second. We might have giggled a little at it and even altered a few words here and there in our repetition, but we did when we married, too. Me because I was so freakishly giddy at getting married (I was 20) and he from nerves.

Even though it was impromptu, it reminded me that I meant those vows so long ago. And I mean them now, too. Yes, yes, yes, I do! And I know he does. :)

Because I love him. Always have. Always will.

And this is why I love writing romance.

How about you? If you had a chance to renew your marriage vows … on the spot … impromptu … with a couple hundred other people (or not) … would you?

Share in the comments!

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Little White Lies by Aimee LaineInto The Unknown Cover - Anthology from three authorsHide & Seek by Aimee LaineSurrender by Aimee Laine

12 Responses to “What would it take for you to renew your wedding vows? #TiWiWf”

  • I’m not going to answer your question because it would ruin the mood of your post. I will say I am very, very happy for you and your hubby and I’m glad you both found each other. You put a smile on my face thinking about it. I wish everyone could find their soul mate. The world would be a much happier place.

  • Aimee Laine, you are such a sap. But yeah … given the chance, I’d do it for sure. Lovely post. :)

  • Such a beautiful post, Aimee. I am still unmarried so I can’t answer your question practically. But yes, I would love to do that whether impromptu or planned. You got married at 20! Wow!

    • I did get married at 20! Crazy, huh? Met him when I was 14 though, so we had 6 years together first. :)

  • Great post. I, like you, don’t say I Love You to my husband all the time. We do say sometimes, but not even everyday. We are happily married, which is more than I can say for some of my friends unfortunately (and they say it all the time). This year it will only be 2 years being married (together 6), so if I got to renew my vows tomorrow, I would. I don’t know if I could do it in front of hundreds of people because it makes me nervous being in front of a bunch of people that I don’t know. We had a very small wedding with just very close friends and family. Thank you.

  • What a beautiful post!
    My wife and I will be celebrating our 21 anniversary in August too, 26 years total from the date of our first movie.
    I don’t say those three little words as often as I should but I try to show it as often as I can. In true writer form, eh? Show, don’t tell? The florist knows me by name. In our house, I’m the romantic, believe it or not.
    Congrats on your renewal! I hope you have many more.

    • Thanks, Dale and ‘gratis on 21 (aka 26!)! And good for you for ‘showing’ and not telling. LOL heheheheee :) I hope you have many many more, too!

  • Oh, I’m so glad you got to do that! It’s so good for couples to remember why they got together in the first place and to act on that as often as possible, IMO. Congratulations.

    My beloved husband and I have been together now for 19 years. We celebrate 5 anniversaries a year (oh yes, we do!). We just passed our “meeting” anniversary, April 15. We met at a Science Fiction convention and friends of ours said we should get together. It’s a long story, I’ll tell ya sometime. But we had met many times over the years and just didn’t know it. I had been married 2x before, he once, and we just fell in love. We moved in July 1 that year (our second anniversary we celebrate in a year), then we got handfasted on October 31 (what we consider our “real” wedding) and then went to the JP to get the paperwork/civil wedding done November 11. So all of that is in 1993. Then, 4 years ago we had my “big white wedding” that I had never had, on October 18. It was our renewal of vows. And our 6 and 8 year old grandchildren acted as maid of honor and best man so our friends didn’t fight over who got to stand up with us. Their father, my son, gave me away. It was great.

    We actually make the effort to give cards, go out, or do something special each of the 5 days a year. It’s important to us. We probably say “I love you” a million times a day. We will celebrate our 50th anniversary when we’re 85 so we’re aiming for it.

    I think everyone who is married should sit down occasionally and “revisit” what they find interesting, loveable, and enchanting about their spouse. Remember why that person got your attention and why you wanted to be with him/her. Celebrate the little things. Do something silly to celebrate occasionally. Keep it fun.

    Ok, my story/diatribe is done. back to reading and writing.