5 ‘Swoon’ Qualities of a Leading Man
Now, let me caveat this with … “I am a happily married woman.” Yes, I am. (Okay, so sometimes I’d like to throttle my other half, but hey … who doesn’t? I still love him). Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about these men.
They have to be flawed, right? They have to be hot in some way that makes us swoon over them. Example, the actor in 13 Going on 30 with Jennifer Garner (sorry, can’t remember his name!)… anyway … he isn’t a Bradly Cooper or Ryan Reynolds (swoon!) but the role he played totally melted my heart and made it flutter for him. So sometimes, see, it’s not what’s on the outside, it’s how they act on the inside. It’s what they do, how they treat their women, how gentlemanly they are … among other things. Those elements give those men a place in my head.
They make an impact.
Let’s transfer those visual qualities (from movies and tv) to the stories we read.
Do we see the men?
Technically, no, but we do get a picture of them. Broad shoulders, dark looks, sparkling green eyes, deep-set chin and rough, worker-man’s hands … or something way better than that description. But even one description can be interpreted multiple ways and a picture of our leading man pops into our heads. Whether it stays there depends on the next part.
Do we feel that man’s actions?
Again, depending on how well described said actions are, absolutely. Again, we’re only seeing them in our mind’s eye, but with our powers of interpretation, we can really feel what he feels about his leading lady, about the bad guy, about the good guys. We can gauge his morals, his values, how good he’s going to be *ahem* you know where. 😉 We get this overall picture of the leading man.
Is he ‘The Fonz” or Richie Cunningham from Happy Days? (Yes, I’m dating myself but the contrast in the two is significant and makes my next point).
There are five things I’ve come up with that really make me swoon over those leading me and not a one of them is about looks. Well, okay, looks count too, but let’s take that OUT of the picture for a moment, shall we?
1. Respect for women
The Fonz was ‘the popular guy’ but from all the reruns I watched (yeah, yeah, not all were in rerun) and he treated them all with respect. In books, if the leading man doesn’t respect his women, I will not read it. Sorry, but this is one reason historical romance is not one of my favorites. 🙁 Here I pick up on Roarke from JD Robb’s series “In Death”.
2. Self-depricating
Self-depricating is one of the best ways to make me fall in love. Shoot, I’ll admit, out loud, that even Jack Black has even suckered me in to his fold sometimes. I want men to realize they have flaws and use them to their benefit, but in moderation. There is a point of excess, and we shall not name names.
3. Humor
Oh, my goodness. If a leading man can make me laugh, especially in the face danger, I’ll want him. Better yet, if he uses nice humor (not sly, over the top, you’re-an-idiot-slap-stick) as part of his charm to get a women out of a funk? I’m sunk. This seems to be Ryan Reynolds’ biggest on-screen quality (along with just being hot).
4. Confidence
Bring on the tough guys with tattoo, bulging muscles willing to step in front of a train. And, go ahead and show me those muscles, cuz I wanna see. 🙂 Then, None of this, “I don’t want to ask you out because what if you say ‘no’?” crap. Not overly confident though. Not the ‘you will go out with me because I asked’ just the balls to get over the stupidness. I’ll faint dead away at his feet. And there really is a fine line there.
5. Compassion
They’ll do just about anything for their leading lady, for anyone around them, but logically so. It’s not free-for-all take advantage of me situation, it’s a built-in, ready-made, ‘I will help you’ gene.
So I’ve named a couple guys, but not a bunch because there are really too many to name. But, tell me … what makes YOU fall in love with a leading man?
I love your list. You nailed the self-deprication and the “not overconfident but enough to get past the insecurity of asking her out”. I think I would add “the heroine does not have to be a mindreader/he’s straightforward about how he feels”.
Mark Ruffalo was the male lead in 13 going on 30, and I felt the same way about him!
Thanks, Jennifer! Totally with you on the mind reading. 100% there. I’m going to have to write a 2nd one I think … about the ladies, ‘cuz I think some are ‘at fault’ for making the guys do these things! 😉
And yes, Mark! LOVED him in that role. 🙂
Excellent post, Aimee. I always go for the bad boys, you know, the ones you wouldn’t bring home to meet Mom? There has to be an air of danger around them, a darkness in their eyes that makes me wonder what they’re thinking. They have to be intelligent, physically strong and care about their leading ladies even if we can’t see it right away or if they can’t easily admit it.
I also find small amounts of arrogance sexy, especially when they slip out of it long enough to see the softer parts beneath.
One movie role that captured me was when Val Kilmer played Doc Holiday in Tombstone. Not sure if it was the accent, or his arrogance/confidence, but I found him totally HOT in that movie, and it wasn’t even a romance.
Hehehehehe Gotta love the bad guys. But they gotta be bad AND good. If that makes any sense at all. 😉
This was the best bit: “just the balls to get over the stupidness”. Even though I LOL, there is a ton of truth in it.
Noticed Ryan Reynolds got several mentions. He’s mine though (well he’s near the top of my “list”), so hands off!!
Of course RR got mentioned. 🙂 Who could leave him out when he meets like every quality out there? (note the return to teenage self). 😉 LOL hehehehehehe
Um … who’s Ryan Reynolds? ::ducksforcover::
Anyone who knows me that the leading man in a book is waaaaaaaay more important than the leading woman. HE has to cuker me in. Swoon me senseless with HIS charm, and I’ll stay with the story ’til the end 😉
Great post! 🙂
Seriously??? You don’t know who Ryan Reynolds in? Ask Claire. 😉 She’s probably got a shrine. 😉 haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha
Damn, that’s a wonky line up there. Supposed to say: Anyone who knows me knows that the leading man is more important to me than the leading woman.
There, that’s better 🙂
No worries, I have been enlightened. You may keep him as I’ve never heard him growl. Besides, he’s too clean. Good and dirty–that’s what I want. 🙂
JAB, if I told you he was a werewolf in this scene, would you think differently of Ryan Reynolds?
http://www.allmoviephoto.com/photo/2004_blade_trinity_604_big.html
He’s not…he’s a vampire hunter, actually.
(gave you a big copy…heh-heh-heh)
Um … if he growled, I guess it would make a difference, Claire. However, in that shot, he rather looks like a teenager still, who’s borrowed his grandfather’s facial hair.
Cuz I can, I went and took another look. Um … his body is somewhat awesome, BUT his chest har looks like he lay down on a sheet of fuzzy felt with glue around his nipples and when he stood up, the fibres had stuck to his chest.
On a plus note for him, I do believe we may be belly button twins. 😉
Ooohh! A fun post 🙂 I have to agree with Jocelyn. I think my favorite quality is #4. I’m lucky to have married a 1,4, 5. So when I read, its all about the 4 for me baby…LOVE the strong, dark, mysterious, brooding qualities that make me (in my moment of imagining I’m the leading lady) scratch and claw for his attention. I also like just a tiny bit of arrogance for some reason. Really like compassion as you described, so long as he isn’t sappy. Feels like more of a victory when the leading lady finally snags (shags?) him in the end.
Thank you @ Claire…the Ryan Reynolds pic went great with my coffee this morning 🙂
Thanks Keri! I think we’re all going to start numbering our husbands. Are you being a #1 today honey? ‘Cuz if not, I think you need to work on that. 😉 LOL hehehehehehe