Over the course of 18 years in corporate America, I’ve had some really good bosses and some not so good ones. I’ve had a bunch of different positions, responsibilities, challenges, etc. One thing I’ve always been really, really good at was my communication.

Except, every once in a while people think I’m being short with them when I’m not. Or they think my emails are abrupt because I don’t load them with a bunch of filler that has nothing to do with the content of the message or the point of the message.

You see, I respond to all my email very quickly — like within seconds or minutes of its receipt — IF I CAN. If I have the answer, I dash off a response so it never sits (and my inbox doesn’t scroll – but we’ll get to that topic in another blog post).

Because I respond quickly, I try, very hard to add smilies or ‘Hi’ and ‘Thank you’ but I give the detail the requestor is asking for and leave it at that. I do this to my family, to customers, to my bosses, to whomever.

And STILL, people complain that sure, I get the job done, done well and done on budget, on time, in scope and all my resources love me, but could I be ‘nicer’ in my emails.

Well, you know what? I don’t think it’s me anymore. I’m pretty damn sure, it’s the reader that has the problem.

How do I know this? (first off, I don’t …. this is my theory). 😉 Because none of my emails are anything but professional AND … because we all know that email doesn’t usually contain a ‘tone’, they can easily be misinterpreted.

And WHO does the interpreting of words in an email?

The READER.

Ok, so now that I’ve mathematically proven (If not A, if not B, then C?) it’s not my fault (’cause again, I’m never wrong), then how can we ensure our readers don’t screw up how they are reading my messages?

Not one to have a problem without a proposed solution, I hereby order everyone to read emails with a smile on their face.

And right there you go,

Huh? How can you read with a smile?

Let me tell you! (It’s really not that hard).

Let’s use an example email exchange between a mom and son.

Read the following message in your head (or out loud) just as you see it.

Mom,

I tried to put my bike away like you asked but the handle bars didn’t fit between the cars and when I pushed it, the end cap that fell off last month scratched a line all down the side of the new van. As you know, I have no money to pay for it, so I’m moving to Bermuda so you won’t kill me.

Love,

The Boy

Now first let me say, this IS a real situation. Can I really make ALL this stuff up? I mean this IS why I write fiction and all. 😉

Let me say secondly, he did not move to Bermuda. In fact, he didn’t email us to tell us this at all, we found the bike wedged between the two cars, the scratch all along the side of the brand new van 8 years ago.

But I digress…

I think you get the picture. This email is going to cause a REACTION. Right? What is The Boy obviously thinking? Mom’s going to eat me alive? Mom’s going to skin me with a butter knife?

Now, let’s try this.

Put a frown on YOUR OWN FACE. Picture yourself as the recipient of this email and read it again.

Mom,

I tried to put my bike away like you asked but the handle bars didn’t fit between the cars and when I pushed it, the end cap that fell off last month scratched a line all down the side of the new van. As you know, I have no money to pay for it, so I’m moving to Bermuda so you won’t kill me.

Love,

The Boy

And once more, FORCE a smile onto your lips and read it again. REMEMBER:

KEEP that smile in place the whole time! Fake it!

Mom,

I tried to put my bike away like you asked but the handle bars didn’t fit between the cars and when I pushed it, the end cap that fell off last month scratched a line all down the side of the new van. As you know, I have no money to pay for it, so I’m moving to Bermuda so you won’t kill me.

Love,

The Boy

Do you feel different after this last read through?

Now, the next time you get an email – one you’re worried about or one you don’t even think has any expectation to go along with it … if you read it and it turns sour in your mind, read it again, with a forced smile on your face.

I’ll betcha you’re going to feel lighter about how it was just read, solely for the fact that there isn’t a bit of tone coming across those words and/or you just changed the entire ‘tune’ of the email, no matter the content or the situation.

Try it today and share if it makes life simpler and easier and less stressful, even on emails that might otherwise SEEM, IMPLY or FEEL like someone is angry/short/curt/abrupt with you even if they have no clue how they could be.

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